This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
