so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
