There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
