yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
