Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
