his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
