Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
4 words: hood of his car
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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