I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
