Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
