Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
