so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
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You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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