All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize