About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
