You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
