Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
