is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
