But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Randomize
