Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
