omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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