why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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