so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
