2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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