I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
stop calling my apartment porn island.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
