Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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