Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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