I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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