Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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