he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
