I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
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She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas