At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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