Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
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I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
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the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.