You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?