Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song

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  (214): You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song http://tfl.nu/2x4f
  Replies (25) Good night (9966) Bad night (1078)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip

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  (412): He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip http://tfl.nu/r0us
  Replies (36) Good night (2445) Bad night (6968)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself

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  (678): I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself http://tfl.nu/rqfe
  Replies (29) Good night (2282) Bad night (4460)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.

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  (513): Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this. http://tfl.nu/ipvr
  Replies (8) Good night (3282) Bad night (1187)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.

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  (253): I just did a sobriety test in a tutu. http://tfl.nu/m861
  Replies (5) Good night (3440) Bad night (874)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.

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  (775): At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later. http://tfl.nu/5mcf
  Replies (4) Good night (934) Bad night (2330)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.

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  (603): You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win. http://tfl.nu/zmbp
  Replies (3) Good night (1186) Bad night (577)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?

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  (502): Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk? http://tfl.nu/ayp8
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (1665)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.

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  (864): If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/qg7h
  Replies (11) Good night (2539) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.

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  (914): Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger. http://tfl.nu/77lj
  Replies (5) Good night (1289) Bad night (551)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?

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  (505): Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake? http://tfl.nu/87n8
  Replies (4) Good night (936) Bad night (836)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done

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  (405): I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done http://tfl.nu/3aup
  Replies (5) Good night (1073) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.

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  (306): I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women. http://tfl.nu/1xbq
  Replies (4) Good night (797) Bad night (357)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?

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  (412): he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question? http://tfl.nu/r5st
  Replies (4) Good night (762) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth

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  (512): Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth http://tfl.nu/x9g8
  Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (169)

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