Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?