Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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