That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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