so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize