yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
