dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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