Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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