I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
