It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
