We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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