Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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