Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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