My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
