i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
