What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
