If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
