So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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