I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
