their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
