this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize