They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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