three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
