I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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