After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
