Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
