Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
