Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His hands were made for my vagina.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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