i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
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