On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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