using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
