i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
