There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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