i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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