I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
