I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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