Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
