Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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