i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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