Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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