My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize